What Happened During the Longest Month of the Year

5:26 AM

Hello, welcome to my first entry for this year. I would like to start off by complaining about how long January has been for most of us, not to mention the series of unfortunate events that took place.

2020 got me reading, sulking and drinking. Currently hooked to this game called Hungry Shark. I haven’t gotten over my anxieties especially at the start of the month but my social meter slowly improved in the near end which is good, I’m taking baby steps, no rush. I started a book club too with 52 members. I’ve been reading a lot, but writing less. 

I got myself an Apple Watch which I thought was the most useless thing on this planet but damn how wrong I was. It's very convenient and it motivates me to work out for some reason? I don't know how that's possible but it is. I can also answer calls without having to get my phone or reply to messages. I really love it, thank you Vito, Drew and Mike for convincing me! 

Still trying to battle the urge to eat takeouts especially on the 2nd half of the month. Worst part is we can’t avoid being questioned what we put in our mouths, especially since our job embodies fitness and you can’t really escape being an example knowing some people look up to you, so you really try to stay in shape and most of all, be HEALTHY. Working out is easy, working out on your bad days is also easy — watching what you eat get’s hard. I believe I mentioned this already 2 articles back. I was already drinking smoothies, veggies and all that but damn, lately I’ve been holding veggies off completely and giving in to things I shouldn’t be eating on the daily.

I asked my co-instructor how he’s holding up and he’s been binging too. Yesterday the three of us had food delivered and I remember one suggesting to get salad and we all made gagging sounds. Yes, this month has us craving for bad food but whatever. One student told me “you’re young, give in to your cravings.” Hell yeah, I took that advice for sure.

I’ve been getting hair care pr packages, one brand sent 3 conditioners, the other bottles of serums along with a tub of hair mask — currently enjoying taking care of my long locks, planning to donate it before 2020 ends, so that’s something to look forward to as well.

This month I've learned to put an end to things. 

My friend waltzed in my nook and asked about my film rolls. 

“When do you plan to have them scanned?” 

“Oh I’m not sure, I feel like they're all bad cos the camera’s destroyed.” I answered.  

“But you don’t know that now, you should learn how to put an end to things Mariana.” He replied. 

It just struck me right then and there, because I somehow never put an end to things. I have so many unfinished stories, unfinished paintings, screenplays. Is this why there’s a hole in my heart? Is that where I dump all these unfinished pieces? 

We'll never know. Bye!

(Photos taken by Kiko Kintanar)

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