12 Lessons from Being Independent
3:09 AM
This is not in any way, a patriotic Independence Day post
but rather, takeaways from surviving the concrete jungle —alone. I never really
needed it in the first place considering that my freedom was always intact, but
sometimes, we have to grow up and be responsible. Here's a post commemorating
the lady in red who survived.
2. Acceptance and letting go becomes easy, as in chicken
feed. When people cancel plans, when they don't live up to what they say,
you can smoothly accept the fact that there are shitty people and you can't
change that. It doesn't mean that just because they're nice, they'll
stay. The same way how "I love you" does not equate to "I
still want to be with you." A handful of us prefer loving in silence or
not at all.
3. At the same time you will also learn how to value people who
go the extra mile for you. You'll be extremely grateful for your constant
companion, those who actually spare some time for you, those who actually want
to be with you.
4. You will learn how to not give a fuck. You will learn
how to be complacent and super chill because after all you still have to cook,
clean and sort out your domestic life. You don't have time to worry about every
single thing anymore. You also will get blamed, a lot. Some people
will ask you to breathe fire, to go to the ends of the world for them and you
can't or won't do it. Here's a tip, don't apologize. You don't always have to
explain why you do the things you do, don't say sorry for how you choose to
live your life, you are not their robot.
5. You will learn to force your gut to down that disturbing
choco mallow carrot pancake. Independence can sometimes equate to freedom,
and freedom means having to choose what you put in your mouth. So yes, you can
eat the same thing for a month if you wish to. When you make a meal and it
turns out to be a complete disaster, you'll still eat for sure because of all
the effort, time, electricity and ingredients present. I don't know why I
choose to live here when I can't even eat three times a day.
6. You will conquer a city by being nice and decent. If
you're nice, everything becomes fast, make friends as well. One time I made
friends with someone from the lab, I got my results an hour early. When you
bitch out, people will also give you a hard time. Regardless, you should
also know when to put your foot down. After all, being a pushover won’t
take you places. If being a bitch is what it takes to get what you want then I
guess that's what you'll have to be sometimes.
7. What you have right now is not the only
opportunity you'll ever get. Screw that thought. You can do so much
better. Don't be scared to leave, don't be scared to make that decision. This
is your call to leap. Don't ever think where you are right now is your final
destination, a lot of things can still happen and you gotta drill that in your
head. Don't just settle, let me reiterate what I just said, don't be afraid to
leave.
8. Your type will eventually change. Back when I was too young
to even consider living alone, dating a cute guy was enough for me. "As
long as we look good together." All we ever needed back then were
mencessories. Now? Oh God where do I start? Can you learn from him? Is he
inspiring? Does he add to your stress? Does he make your day a little bit
brighter? Does he play a part in your career or at least goals? Can he? Does he
have a job? Is he hardworking? What does he do during his spare time?
Is he smart? What are his passions? Does he make you a better person or at least
push you to be one? Will your parents approve of him? Do you guys have
the same wavelength?
9.You will learn the art of partying till 4 in the morning and
getting up at 11AM to fish. You'll master the art of resilience. Not
getting up? No lunch.
10. Bravery accidentally becomes a part of your system. You'll
do things you never thought of doing, like holding a taser inches away from
someone's face or perhaps riding in somebody's car the first time you met him
because you felt like Cinderella that night and you're wearing a romper version
of her gown. Bravery would have to mean sleeping alone, going to the hospital
alone, running down a sketchy road late at night —alone. You will learn how to
win your battles.
11. If you start early, you'll always be the youngest one in the
room. Ever since I moved here, I was always the youngest one in the group.
Youngest one at a party, youngest one in a group of friends, youngest one at an
event I was invited to or even the youngest one at a meeting. Phrases like
"batang bata ka pa ano?" "intern paman ka diba?" are thrown
at me 24/7, and the list goes on. Maybe because I'm petite, my parents say it's
the way I act. When I hang out with older people and try to be mature they
laugh at my attempt. "It's okay, it's good to have a baby in the
group." I always got the cringe emoji flashed by faces of my friends who
happen to be 26-29 when I tell them I'm 21. Oh, and I got carded too. The best
thing about being the baby though is that you can get away with almost
anything. Anyone I'm with automatically becomes the guardian, even
when they're way younger, even Danielle, no, especially Danielle.
12.You will never stop adjusting. It's been a year already
and I haven't unpacked, my clothes are still inside my maleta, one of my
parents, I don't remember which, complained about it, then the other one
explained how it had a psychological effect on me which is true, and I can't
explain why I will never unpack. Perhaps it'll take you a long time to adjust
considering how you've been living like a duchess for as long as you can
remember, you've been driving for so long, there's always food at the table as
soon as you wake up. So how long will it take? I wouldn't know.
That's it good bye.
Photo by: Daniela
That's it good bye.
Photo by: Daniela
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