Fine China

2:28 AM

This year, I want you to walk outside your door, —jump from your window if you have to, this is your life for the taking. Don't get stuck in a room. You don't always have to love what you are doing, go out there and do what you love. There is no time for falling slowly, you should fall instantly. This year, try to sing in the shower again, continue if you haven't stopped. This time, try to have more therapeutic conversations inside a parked car, it helps. 

As much as I don't want to jinx the entire year, I have to give myself a pat in the back for a super productive January. Maybe the pigs are lucky this year, maybe not. 

I did things I never thought I'd actually do, like falling in love, KIDDING, like eating the right food and finally sipping all these creative juices out of my system. I've been jumping into new things, locking the shy Mariana inside the closet. I'm actually so thankful to be spending time with a handful of creative people too. 

I'm just going to think happy thoughts and believe that this year's gonna be fire (if you pretend long enough, it's bound to actually happen.) I also hope the deadly d won't come and say hello, because I've locked all my windows. 

2016 has been a bad year for most people and I couldn't agree more. I can go on and on complaining about how lame last year was, but then let us not fail to acknowledge all the great things that happened too. It was a rocky year but I graduated, got a job (so did my batch mates) and gained friends, 10 claps for us. Maybe it wasn't as good as I thought it would be, regardless, it has been a year of growth. It has taught me to be brave.

It has been my first time living alone, and that I think is a milestone already considering that I am a princess in my house, everything I ever want or needed was right in front of me, what more could I ask for? But then I choose growth, and independence, so here I am in the middle of a concrete jungle, surviving. 

What I liked about 2016 was that I was able to clear out the garbage right away, acknowledged them quick enough to dump them out of my life, regardless, I met some people who I'm willing to carry around till 2017. What I hated was that I voted for the first time, my candidate didn't win plus my dog died too. I bet others had it worse, 2016 was just empty. The holidays couldn't compare to what I had the previous year, heck even my birthday! I guess 2014 will always be my year, and perhaps the first half of 2015 too.

I'm super excited for 2017 because I know (perhaps expectations might leave us in pieces but I am more than confident) that this year will be much much better. I just feel it in my gut. 

I will grip this world with my tiny fingers and not let it slip.  All these screaming realizations will turn to whispers and it'll say "you're doing great." Maybe last year wasn't all glitter and gold because I didn't conquer it, I just watched it unfold. This time it's going to be different. 

Here's to 2017, cheers to more screenplays and poetry, also, congratulations for escaping the harm of the beast! Have a great year ahead. 

Photo By: Danielle Gaston
Costume: Maria Gaston

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