A string of unorganized statements

7:47 PM

I want my uneventful life back, but then again, when was it ever uneventful? I used to juggle things back when I was a college student (It's only been like three months and a half ). I used to tutor, run the web for a campus paper, ace my subjects, work in an auditorium, make a film, socialize, blog and write a book all at the same time without sacrificing sleep. Now I only have one job and myself to look after, yet it's draining af, I am always exhausted.

I started doing yoga. For some reason my roommate and I found ourselves giggling as soon as the yoga instructor asked us to think about "our purpose for attending the session." Damn, I don't even know why we ended up here. We kinda got hooked, so after our 6:40 PM session, we ate and slept and went to the 9:00 AM session the next day. In the midst of this chaotic concrete jungle, this might be the only chance we've got to peace.

I'll tell you a few things about my life lately: I'm always homesick, retail therapy doesn't work anymore nor does it make me feel better. I'm trying to figure out the source of all the negativity and I guess it's because I haven't fully adjusted yet. It's so hard to face dilemmas alone, bad days will remain bad since there's no one but you. Fight your dragons alone and clap when you win.

I'm quite overwhelmed with all the responsibilities on my shoulders, I thought 21 was all party. I have nothing mapped out, my brain is too clouded to even see things at a clearer view. Maybe in time, everything will work out, but how long do I have to wait?

I find it quite funny how people seem to think I'm having the time of my life because of the snaps, the photos and the happy status. Have you checked my twitter? Kidding. I'm genuinely a happy person. Let's attract positive energy please.

Some of the things mentioned above might shock you considering that I'm not one to rant on Facebook. So here it goes, I don't know what else to look forward to after August because I think I might not have enough breaks to actually see the people I want to see.

All hail Saturday nights that appear to be endless. I love you to death.

It has been a routine to check my horoscope on a daily basis considering that I have access to newspapers. They've been telling me love is in the air but it has been a long time since I actually fell in love and now everything's merely a series of mediocre feelings that I try to cultivate but to no avail. They're fun to read though, fairly entertaining. I don't believe in them at all, but sometimes they win, maybe they're just coincidences. 

I've been asking my cousin from Dumaguete to anatomize the fridge because I'm playing 94% and I gotta pass the level —oh which reminds me, I miss my romantic 12:45 AM walks to the fridge.

I'll tell you a thing or two about work: it's just plainly a responsibility, a very big one. There is no margin for errors, no room for unexcused absences. Gone were the days where you can skip class and still manage to get straight A's. You will crave for uneventful days, you will be in dire need of it, like give me a week of sleep please.

It only took one statement that finished my entire mood one night. A cousin asked me, "do you see yourself married in 7 years?" I was stunned. There is no way in hell I'm going to be married in 7 years, looking at my situation now, everything's not falling into place and it takes me too long to fall and my attention span is too short to carry out a very lovely conversation on date nights—and then you ask me, do I see myself married in 7 years?

I know I am sleep deprived but that doesn't stop me from going out on weekdays because I can't feel my weekends anymore.

If I make time for you know that you're special because I barely have time for me, however there will always be people I will forever hang out with. I apologize for all the delayed replies.

Sometimes, I don't understand why I do things. Intermittently, I regret them but at the same time I couldn't let that moment slip between my fingers. I am so curious, have always been, to the extent that okay.. I refuse to continue.

How I survive every waking moment: Aside from eating what is good for me, I always find the things that keep me going. 

Go ahead and do something you actually like doing. Perhaps watch series, read a book or paint? What floats your boat?

I'm tired, as usual. Just look at those eyes on the photos. Anyway, I like olive dresses. My hat was handpicked by my temporary boyfriend a.k.a the guy who works for HNM and does every boyfie duties for the ladies.

Dress: Forever21
Hat: HNM
Photo By: Danielle Gaston

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